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Terrible Pick-Up Lines Meme

"Do you know what would look good on you? Me."
"Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face."
"Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?"
"Hey, want to play house? I could be the door, and you could slam me all night long."
"How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?"
"I do floors, doors, windows, and you."
"I wish you were a screen door, so I can slam you all day long."
"If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"
"Is that crotch sweat, or are you just happy to see me?"
"If I was a skateboard and you were a ramp, I would grind you all night."
"If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you."
"If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?"
"I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s sleep together!"
"Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked."
"Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down."
"Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, 'Fuck it'."
"My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it."
"Remember my name. you'll be screaming it later."
"Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw."
"That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too."
"Wanna play some football? We can both be skins."
"What are you doing tonight? Besides me?"
"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."
"You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you."
"You must be a cold shower, because I'd love to be inside of you."
"You must not have air conditioning because I'm your fan and you're turning me on."
"You remind me of my pink toe; you're small, you're cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight."
"You wanna go skinny dipping in my water bed?"